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Quick Pretention

Balance. . .

Every once in a while, I think about it. . .

It's almost been a year since we first got the signs that things at Camp, hell, in the rest of my life, were going to go downhill, but not quite yet. And so I can think that at this time last year, I had my own place, and while it wasn't much it was all I needed. I didn't pay rent or utilities, just got a meeger paycheck, but it was enough to live off of. I had a car that got me from point A to point B with minimal difficulties. I was in a relationship that hadn't quite hit boiling point yet, and so was for the most part enjoyable. And I had a job that accomplished more than paying for my expenses.

And I have so many wonderful things now. I have a strong circle of friends that I see fairly often, and I've actually manage to make myself a part of the Scene here in Charlottesville, and (I hope) positively impact it. I am a part of a truly wonderful creative team, that of Silent Muse, and I feel that together the three of us may one day accomplish great feats that of which we currently only dream. I could complain about some aspects of my life, but overall I've got it pretty good now.

And it almost makes me feel guilty to sit here and think about what I had, and miss it a little. But I do. Some of the things I had, I can get back with a bit of work, but it just seems so far away, much further than a year. And for everything I've lost, I've gained something, thus maybe I'd have to lose what I have now to get what I have then. . .

And I know it's impossible, but is it totally wrong for me to sometimes wish I could tip the scales a little more?