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Quick Pretention

On the Sidewalk

You have no idea how many times I get accused of being drunk when I am stone-cold sober, especially when I'm depressed. Sometimes, when something hits me hard (or multiple small things hit me at once) the switch flips to put that little "Inner Monologue" we all have on Loudspeaker. The results are usually hilarious but a bit unpredictable. Those who don't know me may even become frightened. Don't worry, folks. . . no one's in danger, everything's under control, just, quite honestly, I don't give a damn right now.

At the same time, some of the most beautiful experiences can occur to me while in this state, at the most socially unacceptable times. For instance, Chad tried to show that he had my "behind-the-back-ass-kick" style stolen, so I proceeded to double-ass-kick he and Jean, all in the spirit of fun, of course. I did not realize, however, that the ground was wet and I was wearing shoes with traction in the negatives, and thus I fell on my ass.

Let me see if I can do this description justice. I was right on the corner of a sidewalk, which was located next to a bridge. Lying there, from my perspective, I saw cars on walls, and an endless sky I could just fall into, the bridge being the only safe place to land. And in the foggy post-storm night, occasionally illuminated by strategically placed street-light, a moon, almost completely enshrouded, beckoned to me while a single pair of flashing lights (no doubt a plane) effortlessly traced their path across the abyss. Lying there, devoid of pain, thought, and willpower, I suddenly felt so peaceful and at awe, and I didn't want to move. Of course, a guy lying on a corner is completely unacceptable. It freaks out the drivers, people have to walk there, passers-by get the urge to call an ambulence. . .

I didn't want to leave that place. I don't know why, but I was happy there. No doubt I would have eventually gotten bored with it, yet at the time it was perfect. And of course, no one watching would understand, they'd just wonder what the hell was wrong with me. This no doubt seems silly to most of you reading this as well. For me, though, it was the highlight of my night. . .