2003-01-19 - 10:51 a.m.
White Dawn
They caught me in the dark of closing
when lights could not save me
I saw little but the whispering breeze
and ghosts of deadly pale
against the charcoal sky I awoke to missing hands
and no time to understand
Ragged bonds behind my back
Faces before me, or their lack
pinning eyes of unknown hate
which, I knew, would no longer wait
I prayed for any spec of holy hope
but was instead given a rope And the night is slowly fading
and the tree above is staring
at spirits uncaring
of anything beyond their line of sight
My body weak
My restraints tight
and this large, ill-bearing fright
I now cannot deny Gather in smells, visions, and sounds
of these monsters and their hounds
And maybe, if rescued I can use them
as my facts to then abuse them
but these thoughts only amuse them
for there's one fact that I'm refusin'
rescue's something I'm futilly assumin' My eyes close and I remember
a much earlier September
where I felt a member finally of this town in which I stay
but these bright devils now betray
it must've never been this way
My hopes paid golden fools I see the knot being tied
and then thrown, hanging from a stable limb
and someone shouts "Our suffering
shall fail as unwanted demons' begin!" I'm going to Heaven, so I'm told
though different stories have been sold
to those who now in their hold
I still try to be bold
But I feel no saving light
only my blood as I bite
my tongue just so I do not weep Upwards on wooden steps I climb
feeling the tightness of the time
like fate of which they spoke
shall mercilessly choke
the life out of my watering eyes
and back into all their lies
so they can last a little while And I try to tell myself
this needn't be all wrong
and in my absence here
another may yet come along And the mornin' light is peeking
and the platform's edge is waiting
and I hear voices baiting
me to offer up any last words
My soul shall soar amongst the birds
while they lay smothered in their herds
yet they give no reply And the moon is disappearing
and I feel the rope is tightening
I pray for lightning
to extinguish all these killers in their mirth
a soul for a soul
and a death for a birth
and should the meek recieve the earth
Then say, Lord, which am I? And the sun begins it's climbing
They push me and I'm falling
and I hear them calling
as the string catches me 'for I hit the ground
I do not leave to a cracking sound
so shall my suffering be profound
and all I ask is why? And the dark is swiftly fleeting
and I now am sure I'm choking
God must be joking
I cannot see why He'd let these things exist
Trade in love for a gun
and kind words for a fist
and the point then is surely missed
and no one cares but I And the light's illuminating
all the sinful ivory clothing
so I try closing my eyes in attempts to wish it all begone
but their forced to a stare that just feels wrong
and now I know it won't be long
and I pray that I don't cry And the night is done retreating
and the pearly crowd is waiting
It's all frustrating
to end my life in this loosening of shit
And if I could, I'd surely spit
upon those bringing about it
but I cannot even try And the dawn is now upon us
though I feel all my light fading
and I guess I'm trading
this old world for one of surely better worth
A soul for a soul
and a death for a birth
and if this truly is their earth
then I think I'd rather die
[before] [after]
| 
